Eating a Turtle

maxresdefaultWhen I was a wee boy I used to be a bit of a fussy eater.

Not one of those dull, modern day invented, lactose intolerant, vegan types, just a common or garden fussy food child. I remember turning my nose up when my mother first put a pizza in front of me, it looked like sick I told her, but she persisted and forced me to take a bite. So I did and then demanded pizza everyday.

At some point along the way this fussiness disappeared though. I can’t pinpoint the exact day. I didn’t go to bed one night and wake up craving liver but it definitely changed. Now I will eat pretty much anything, and I have.

There’s not much I haven’t tried, I don’t think. Aside from the normal meats I have tried some exotic ones like horse, including horse penis, alligator and even a Mongolian marmot but my favourite meat has to be reindeer steak, in my opinion far nicer than even the best hand reared Kobe beef. The only downside is it’s a little tricky to get hold of outside of northern Scandinavia and somewhat difficult to explain to small children why I am eating Rudolf, especially in December. It is nice though, if you haven’t tried it, you should, but be prepared to be disappointed every time you visit your local steakhouse after you have.

I read somewhere, or saw a documentary, or someone told me that one of the main reasons the giant sea turtle was hunted to virtual extinction was on account of its taste. It was so nice apparently once you have tasted it you cant go back to Aberdeen Angus or whatever the steak of choice is in the Galapagos islands. Even nicer than Reindeer or so they say, but I doubt a Galapagean (just made that up) has ever eaten Reindeer so I will reserve judgement on that one.

Yes ,so their downfall was their wonderful taste, which rather puts paid to the adage if you want to preserve it – start eating it. It might have worked for cows, chickens and sheep but clearly not the giant sea turtle….yet.

I would like to taste a giant sea turtle but will wait until they figure out how to farm them first before I do. Even I, with my couldn’t-care-much-about-what-I-eat carnivorous attitude, would struggle to internally reconcile the morality of eating such a beautiful and highly endangered species.

I would and have eaten Halal though and based on what I read, this would appear to be seen in a similar light.

Barbaric, medieval, monstrous are a few of the printable comments I keep reading from people I have never met and oddly some people I know very well. They are complaining about the religious slaughter of animals, and more specifically the Islamic method of slaughtering animals.

Its strange but it doesnt appear, on the face of it at least, that these people hold animal welfare concerns high up on their moral radar.  I could be wrong but it appears to be a thinly veiled attack on Islam rather than concern for the animals themselves.

Decide for yourself – here are four random comments I pulled from a Britain First post relating to Halal meat;

Must not upset the Muslim way! makes me so angry and despondent, if the government don’t care, why can’t we arrange groups of heavy people who do care, to prevent this happening, at any cost at slaughterhouses across the country’

‘Possibly the cruelest savages that ever walked this earth , I will strive to never buy or eat halal meat or products . Why does the government bend over backwards for these people , create some laws concerning it and enforce them !’

‘Islamic community need everything special, they do opposite to rest of world…..they never want to modernize..but use all modern stuff. .. they are evil on earth….’

‘Time for the British people to stand up and if by force….evict all muslims from England. The government will not do it.’

The last one made me smile the most, why would the British people stand up to remove all Muslims from England, and not Wales or Scotland if they feel so strongly about it?

Also you have to forgive the typos, spelling and grammar here, -I copied and pasted directly without any edit.

So assuming I am right and this is an obvious Trojan horse approach to attack Islam and then what? Cut off their food supply? Starve them out of the country?

It could work, but before Britain first or any other stupid group start pushing their animal welfare credentials they should be a little careful.

Please be aware that a few other religions insist on the same approach to the slaughter of the animals, one of them happens to be Judaism.

Also if the reason you want to ban Halal is on account of the cruelty involved lets be absolutely certain that the non-Halal animals are treated and slaughtered in a way which we would consider humane. Have you ever visited a non religious abattoir or a battery farm?

And finally do you really understand what Halal, or Kosher slaughter actually involves?

So yes, it could work but its unlikely because at the very least you will need to ban a whole bunch of non Islamic meat and piss off a lot of people you don’t want to in the process or at worst ban meat entirely.

Britain First, and your supporters, come up with something better please.

Something which is difficult to refute, something which isn’t laughable and something which doesn’t show you as the religious intolerant, ill thought through, bigoted group of Neanderthals you actually are.

Maybe then you might actually start getting taken more seriously and maybe your supporters who feel so strongly about supporting you from behind the safety and relative anonymity of their laptops in their bedrooms might stand up and do something about their beliefs.

And then, if they do, they might just realise how ridiculous they all actually sound.

Unfortunately though I would bet there is a higher chance of seeing a succulent and sustainable giant sea turtle landing on my dinner plate before this actually happens.

But, based on what I’ve been told, I’ll take that consolation prize every time…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.